Thursday 16 February 2012

Metaphorically Speaking of Course

So, I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before (ok, I'm pretty sure I have. I'm just not gonna go back and double check), but I have a shit-ass digestive system.

**WARNING** I'm gonna describe me being in a slight amount of pain. If you are a worrying mother, I may prefer you don't read this. Unless you make dad hear the aftermath instead of me. Then it's cool. :D

For those of you who dont know (or who, like me, are too busy to go back and look if I ever explained details), about 2 years ago my stomach decided to stop digesting, well, food to be perfectly honest. I went from being one of the least picky people pretty much ever to have a diet that is essentially restricted to plain rice and plain vegetables (assuming of course that these veggies arent overly acid. Or onions). Why? No idea. Am I going to a doc for it? Yes, its been 2 years, I'd be a bit of an idiot if I hadn't looked into it by now, wouldn't I? Is it Celiac? No. Is it lactose intolerance? No - that means I can't drink milk. Not that I can't eat. Look it up. Is it - ok, I'm gonna stop you there. No. Or I dont know. But unless you have a crazy, weird, obscure suggestion, I'm going with probably not. Most of the others have been looked at. But wait, what about IBS? You mean Iritable Bowel Syndrome? Here's a lesson in IBS for people out there - IBS is what is diagnosed to people who have stomach pain from an undeterminded source. So yes. You could say I have IBS, technically. That still doesn't mean I know what it is.

Anyway, moving on. So the other night I had, well, pretty much the worst stomach attack of my life. Normally my stomach problems reveal themselves in annoying, but livable ways - acid reflux, slight pain, some nausea (thankfully vomiting not included), bowel-type-movements most people dont like hearing about - pain in the ass, but I can deal. Valentines Day night I didn't sleep. Ok, thats a lie. I slept 3 very disturbed hours between which I wreathed in pain as an invisible knife was repeatedly stabbed into my gut and dragged across my abdomen and into my back. Not pleasant (Also for all you mothers and stand-in jewish mothers out there who are still reading [you know who you are :P] I am fine, don't worry about me, life goes on, nothing can go wrong, shit happens, I'm optimistic and really it's not as bad as I make it seem, I'm just good at description... or something like that).

The whole point of that explination is essentially this - I've noticed that when I describe my stomach issues, I often tend to speak in metaphor... well, simile technically. Tho the knife one was definitely a metaphor. For example, the day after (well, afternoon after, but I digress) when my friend was over and helping me out a bit and asked me how I feel I kept telling her (and others) "Essentially it's like last night my stomach beat the shit out of me and today I get to feel all the swelling, cuts and bruises." Or since then, esspecially after I eat, I still get shorter, less intense stomach spasms. And I find myself thinking "Its kinda like my body just had an earthquake and now I'm experiencing the aftershocks." Or "I hate going to the doctor, I get there and its like I've forgotten everything I wanted to tell them or ask them and they treat me like an idiot child." Wait... no... thats not a simile, thats real life.

I guess I find it kind of interesting that my brain does that. Just like when I'm in the worst moments of pain I start thinking of fantasy reasons for my problem. I don't have digestive issues, I'm actually a witch and it's my power's way of expressing myself until I am able reign it in and control it. Or I'm turning into a super hero, like the Hulk. I've actually got an alien inside my stomach and it's bursting to come out. Maybe I'm a werewolf except instead of full moons being my trigger, it's food. I was actually supposed to be a twin, but it started developing late. Maybe I'm 2-years pregnant with the next Messiah (with that whole virgin-birth thing and all). I'm pretty sure I've come up with a hundred of these things.

I think it's a pretty commen fact that the brain protects itself in times of weakness or pain or trauma. I like how my brain protects itself. Its interesting, and relatively optimistic (ok, maybe not about the alien wanting to burst out of my stomach, but you get what I mean.) Also it can be distracting from the pain some times and even inspires some pretty sool story ideas that I never tell anyone but sometimes develope as I'm falling asleep at night. So yes, stomach pain sucks. But my brain is pretty awesome. Unless it is migraining - then less so. But in general, I approve of it.

So Internets, thanks once again for reading my babbalage. Also, once again, I am fine, don't worry about me, I deal, life goes on, it's getting better, really, yes I am still eating, life is wonderful, hakuna matata, nothing can go wrong... go wrong... go wrong...

Tuesday 7 February 2012

Governmental Rural Aging in Health

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

So next week is a pretty big week for me school-wise. I have 3 assigments due (as well as 1 smaller weekly assignment which I have due every Monday) and my first midterm. Now, I'm not overly stressed about these things. Not yet anyway. For the most part, they are quite nicely spaced out, two assignments due Monday, one Thursday and midterm on Friday. So my issue isnt *really* about timing. I'm just having so much trouble sitting down and writing these things.

For my Rural Health class I have an essay-outline due. Two pages, stating what my topic is and then outlining three questions and three references I am going to be looking at in my actualy paper. Not difficult. Except that I can't think of what to say to stretch it to two pages. It really is just basic writers block. I'm compeletely blanking. Which is weird for me - I dont know if you've noticed, but I can normally write a lot with while saying very little.

The same is happening for my Health Policy class. I have to write two pages, a question per page, on the levels of government involved in policy making for seniors ( yeah. I know. Just reading that sentence puts me to sleep too.) I've done the research, I know the levels of government. And all I can think of to say is "Policy making for senior citizens is made throughout all levels of government. Period. The End." Not exactly worth two pages. Maybe if I bang my head against my desk a few more times I'll knock something intellegent out of there and onto my screen...

My final assignment shouldn't be as hard, at least not in the sense of writing. I have to pick a day and for the entire day immiate something an elderly person would experience (eg. loss of hearing, sight, memory, mobility... yeah). I have plenty of ideas for this. I don't, however, have plenty of time. I keep feeling as tho every day is the wrong day to do this. I have school. I have work. I have... a lot of excuses esentially. I really should just do it, I mean really I think a lot of the point is the distruption of daily activities right? So I should stop complaining and just do it right? Ugh.

Anyway. Anyway Anyway. I suppose I should go back to beating my head against my desk. This has been a nice procrastination, but the sooner I can get all of this done the better right? Right. Bye for now Internets!

EDIT: Apparently sometimes you just need to bitch. I literally pressed publish on this post, went back to my policy assignment and it is now finished. Go figure lol

Friday 3 February 2012

Many Blood Sucking Tics

I hate politics. I hate the pointless bickering, the indecisiveness, the drama. I hate that everyone thinks politics are so important. I hate how people gett so into politics. Most of all, I hate how I don't believe any of that anymore.

I used. I used to believe all of that and more. Politics was something my family argued about around the dinner table or at family reunions. Politics was boring extra school work. I just didn't care, because why should I? If I don't have an opinion, it doesn't affect me right?

I think you see where I am going with this - no, not right. Very wrong in fact. Not only because it does and always will affect me, but because, low and behold, I *do* have an opinion. Lots of them. Lots and lots and lots of them. Hell, some people have a hard time getting me go shut up about them. But don't worry, this blog won't be about those opinions, nor is this a post on why you too should become involved in your local politics. I guess what I really want to talk about in this blog is how strange life is... but don't worry, its not that deep. I mean, since when do I do *deep* anyway?

But life is strange. Life is strange in the way that I can go, in a year and a half, from hating every little thing about politics to being more deeply involved that I think anyone would have believed I could be. I doubt anyone in HS would believe me now if they heard me talk lol. I used to believe that I had no opinions - my sister, my best friend, my dad (no those are not all the same person lol) now THEY had opinions. But me? Naw, I'm a neutral third party. Also known as, I'm in denial. Because, trust me, I have opinions. Trust me. Which are obviously better than your opinions unless your opinions are the exact same as mine. Lol, or not.

And you know what I blame? Not my overly political family, who I lived with for 18+ years. No. I blame education. What is it with education anyway? Expanding my horizons, pffffft. Like that's good for me. I mean, look what it did for me - expanding my horizons, opening my mind to new ideas, making me a smarter and more well rounded person - who wants that anyway?... damn them.

But that is the difference. Not just the education either, although that has played a major role in my transformance, making me realise there are issues I care about and am willing to fight for. But I also credit my friend Vanessa. Everyone needs s Vanessa in their lives. Not only is she the most postive influence ever, but she is the most passionate person when in comes to people and issues she cares about. You can not be around someone containing *that* much passion and not have it rub off. She really brings to light not only that it is important to fight for what you believe, but why.

So yes Internet, that is what post secondary education does to you. It, or people met through it make you care. I mean, unthinkable eh? Who would have thought? Just let that be a lesson to you who decide to move forward in your education - education changes you. But don't worry, if you learn from my life lessons, we will all get through this OK :P.

Have a wonderful day!