Since school ended I have once again been head deep in the "Oh please PLEASE PLEEEEEASSSE! Give me a job!" process. I've dropped off something like 40-50 resumes around town this week alone and Im not done. SOMEONE has to bite this line I keep throwing out there right?
With all the resumes I've been handing out I've had a least one interview so far, and I think it went really well. I talk a lot during interviews, partially out of nervousness and partially just because, well, I talk a lot period. I found it amusing because she was trying to paraphrase everything I said during the interview in these tiny spaces on her paper that gave her all the questions she was supposed to be asking and most of the time she didnt have enough room. But we got along really well and the job was for a "3rd Key" position at an accessory store (so kind of like a regular retail job except that I would be responsible for opening and closing the store and I would be reffered to if there wasn't a manager working), which is something I know I could do very well. The other reason I think the interview went well was because afterwards (even after I told her I'd need to take like a month off in July) she told me to go home and fill out a "integrity questionnaire" online and if I did well on that I would get a call back and a second interview with the District Manager.
Have yuo ever written one of these "integrity surveys" when applying to a new job? I've done several and every time I think the same thing - what a waste of bandwidth and server space. Honestly, these surveys could be summed up in four questions -
1) What are your feelings on major or minor theft by yourself or another person in the store?
2) Do you think moving up in a company is based on luck or hard work?
3) Do you plan to be with us for the rest of your life?
4) Do you think you are suitable for this position? No, really, think about it - are you SURE you are suitable for this position?
Thats it, four questions. But instead of something nice and summed up like that, we get to sit through somethign like 50-100 questions that are just variations on a theme. "Do you feel it is more likely to get promoted via luck or hard work?" "Do you feel you get looked over for a promotion because you didnt have the right amount of luck?" "Do you feel that no matter for much hard work you put in, you'll never get that promotion?" Like really? Are you just sitting there, waiting for the ONE time I press the wrong button so you can be like "AH-HAH! See, they're lieing! They SAY they believe they think a promotion come based on hard work - but look at question 58, they said "yes" to luck. Obviously not our candidate."
It also bothers me that these surveys are multiple choice only. You have two varieties - either "Yes or No" or the spectrum of 'strongly disagree' to 'strongly agree'. What bothers me is I never have the chance to explain my answers. Yes, I definitely think that if you work hard and prove yourself, you will get noticed and yuo will get that promotion. That doesnt mean luck doesnt play its part, or that no ones ever gotten a promotion based on luck alone. Multiple choice just makes the answers to narrow and general for my liking. Esspecially when we got into the questions on theft and management corruption. No, I obviously dont support theft and no, I dont think all management is corrupt. That doesnt mean I've never seen a corrupt manager. And when it comes to employee theft, it often becomes situational. Employee walks out with a $50 purse? Fire them, obviously. Employee walks out with a $2 lipchap? If it's their first time - maybe you could give them the benifit of the doubt. Shit happens and they could have forgotten to pay for it. Essepcially if they are a known trust-worthy employee and pay for it after they were caught/realise they forgot to pay. If its not their first time, then we have a problem. But all of that is a lot of circumstantial opinion to put into a yes-or-no question.
What also amused me about this specific survey was the disclaimer before hand, meant, I think, more to scare people into being truthful than anything else. The disclaimer said something along the lines of "Be truthful in your answers. We can tell if you are not being truthfull. Any survey deemed untruthful will be discarded." Really? You can tell if I am being truthful? You can read my mind through this survey? Wow, I must be worrying to much about the constraints of the yes-or-no questions if yuo can read my mind through the answers. Because OBVIOUSLY if I answer "No I have never stolen anything" it means I have. Numerous times. Actually, it means Im a kleptomanic.
I think what they mean is they are looking for people who answer the way they think they should be. Like in the questions about whether they are planning on staying with the company for the rest of their lives - lets be honest, how many people are THAT enthusastic about retail and accessories in general. If a person consistently answers the "stongly" option for that, they are either coming off as desperate or untruthful. Im sure there are exceptions - but in the general sense, not many people would plan on doing that for the rest of their lives.
Which brings me to the confusing questions - for example, on these types of surveys, how do you answer 'Would you quit if a better oppertunity came along?" Truthfully? Yeah, of course, who wouldnt? Esspecially if it had anything to do with my potential one-day chosen feild of work. But that isnt going to be for a while. And you are hiring me for a 10-15 hours-a-week position. I dont think there would be any hard feelings if I did quit (as long as I did it tactfully, rather than just disapearing or quitting on the spot). But that is that what they want to read on the survey? Maybe thats the kind of question they would mark as truthful or not truthful.
Anyway, I dont know how I did on it. I think I did well, answered as well as I could. Now I just have to sit back and wait for them to call me and give me that second interview - which is always the hardest part. I've always wondered how they use those surveys. Is it an overall score and if you pass with a certain percentage, you get to move on? Or do they actually look at each individual question and judge via those answers? Maybe each 'type' of question gets grouped together and scored? "Well, she did well on the theiver questions, but scored low on if she is wants to stay here forever. hmmmm"
So now I just get to sit and play the waiting game. Wish me luck Internets - I know I'd do well with the this job and having a supervisor position would be nice, maybe actually have some responcibility for once! Ttyl!
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